


We'll be Back Soon

by Goose_Catto



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Ghosts, And he can't communicate with anybody, Basically Taako's a ghost and can't be far from Lup at any point, Buckle up folks, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Non-Linear Narrative, Taako's a spooky boi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-08-20 11:08:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16554632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goose_Catto/pseuds/Goose_Catto
Summary: Taako is long-dead; he has been for decades.Lup is haunted; spend enough time with her and you’ll figure that out soon enough.The twins stay together, Tres Horny Boys are distrustful of their new companion, and Lucretia won’t listen to reason.Or: I’m a sucker for ghost aus and I’ve never seen one where Taako’s our undead friendo





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, this is my first TAZ fic, and I was pretty excited about this au! This hasn't been beta'd, so if you've got criticisms, tell me.
> 
> Enjoy!

The twins left in the middle of the night. Lup scrawled a “back soon” on the blank side of an empty envelope, and they departed, hand in hand. Taako’s was cold.

By noon the next day, they were in the town of Phandalin, and there, they heard of a vault deep within Wave Echo Cave.

By the next morning, they were inside the cave’s twisting corridors, Lup carrying her gauntlet, following one Cyrus Rockseeker until they reached a heavy vault door.

By the end of the day, Lup was dead. Rockseeker was dead. And Taako… was dead. But that wasn’t a new development for him.

As a steel dagger was dragged across her back, Lup knocked their guide, her attacker, into the vault with a powerful thunderwave that slammed the door shut with its force. Rockseeker’s eyes were wide, and he wasn’t looking at her. Taako could only watch. Lup gritted her teeth and collapsed against a cold cave wall, feeling the textured stone scrape against her skin through her robe as she slid down it.

As something dark crept up her veins, bringing a burning agony with it, both twins realized the gravity of her wound. It was silverpoint poisoning. How ironic; if this truly was the last cycle, both twins’ bodies would have been burned in the same way– for good this time.

Taako pulled his sister into a hug until her chest stopped heaving and her small, pained noises ceased. As Lup’s lich form ascended above her still corpse, the Umbrastaff rattled, turned its tip to her like an especially pointy dog, inverted, and swallowed her whole.

Taako didn’t move for a very long time.

* * *

 

Ten years later, three idiots and their employer blundered into the cave, bickering about character voices. Taako, snapping out of his pseudo-meditation, immediately recognized three of them. They were family, after all.

Barry Bluejeans yelped at the sight of him. Merle and Magnus, who must’ve crit-failed their respective perception checks, followed his startled gaze. Magnus took a step back.

Taako knew what he looked like to them. He was an elf-sized, indistinct, purple-gray figure. His eyes were wide and unblinking, a pearlescent, blank white. He hadn’t bothered to manifest many details in his appearance in a long, long time; what would be the point? Who was there to see him besides Lup? (Could she even see him from in there? Did she know she wasn’t alone?) In short, though? Taako looked pretty fucking creepy.

And… the others looked different, too. Merle had an uncharacteristic weight on his shoulders, and there were no flowers in his beard; The crow’s feet around Barry’s eyes had deepened, and he looked more ragged than the last time Taako had seen him; Magnus was more world-weary, and there was the glint of metal on his ring finger.

“Hey, buddy…” Magnus hazards, lowering himself to be eye level with the sitting Taako. His tone was something one might use with an injured animal. “Do you… live here?”

Taako narrowed his eyes in confusion. “Magnus? Come on, m’dude, you’ve seen me like this plenty of times. Anyway, Lup’s in the Umbrastaff; you need to break it!”

Merle made a face. “That’s some next-level shit. Why’s everybody talkin’ in _static_ today?”

“Uh, guys? Barry, why are you looking at me like that?” Taako took a step back toward Lup’s decrepit body. “You found us!”

If the three of them looked deeply unsettled, their unfamiliar dwarven companion was just confused. “Why are you talking to a random skeleton?” he asked in a gruff voice. “Never seen a dead guy before?” 

“Uh, Gundren, can you not s-see the thing next to the skeleton? Gray, creepy, glowing?” Barry’s voice was low and methodical, and it quivered, the way it had been known to do when he was trying to explain something. “It’s right there,” he said, and gestured toward Taako, _his brother, his best friend-_

“...What are you talking about? Bluejeans, that’s a corpse. Loot it if you must, but we need to move on,” insisted Gundren.

“Hey, give us a minute,” protested Magnus in a stage whisper. He took a careful, still-crouching step toward Lup’s body; Taako moved aside, watching him warily. What was wrong with them? They should know Taako. They should know Lup. Magnus ran a hand over the shoulder of Lup’s scarlet robe, no recognition in his eyes. As if he were unsheathing a sword, he drew the umbrastaff out from the crook of her arm, simultaneously rolling an arcana check.“Sweet, magic umbrella! Mine now.”

Barry and Merle shrugged, and after a moment, they turned back to their guide. Gundren had unsheathed a dagger from the holster on his belt, and was dragging it across the pad of his thumb. He pressed it against the vault door ( _Oh shit, oh shit he’s a Rockseeker the door’s gonna open oh shit_ ) and a thunderous creaking noise began emanating from the door as gears began to spin very slowly. Gundren spoke over the noise.“You guys deserve some answers,” he sighed.

* * *

 

The town of Phandalin was gone, lost to the gauntlet’s black glass. The others were in a well; Rockseeker was in the center of the circle, charred and blackened and very, very dead; Taako watched the dead float into a rift in the sky. They were heading to the Astral plane; Taako was not. Taako had more to do.

He watched Magnus, Merle and Barry haul themselves over the edge of the well, dragging Killian’s unconscious figure up on a length of rope. 

Taako closed his “eyes,” putting effort into shaping his form into something more recognizable as a humanoid. His features became more visible, his face becoming more defined, spectral robes seeming to appear on his body.

He blinked them open. “Listen, I know you don’t know me, but you really really need to break that,” he said, pointing to the umbrastaff and miming snapping it over his knee.

“Oh, hell no,” Magnus replied, taking in Taako’s hand gestures. “I’m not breaking this.” He pulled it closer to his chest.

“I agree,” nodded Barry. “We don’t know what this thing is, so trusting it just yet would be a bad idea.”

Taako groaned, crossing his ghostly arms. “Fine! Be like that,” he cried. “See if I fuckin’ care.”

Merle spoke up. “So,” he grunted. “What’re we doing with, uh, Killian, here?”

Magnus tied her up, taking her massive crossbow. “Can’t you heal her?” Magnus pointed out.

“Uh, yeah.” Merle laid a hand on her forehead, whispered something, and her eyes blinked open.

“Well. I guess, uh… we didn’t save Phandalin, then,” Killian sighed. “Magnus, can I, um, have my crossbow back? And my hands? Please untie me.”

“Yeah, no. Tell us who sent you, first,” Barry said.

“Alright, uh,” the orc woman sighed, “Tell me when things get… static-y. I work for an… organization of, um, concerned people- can you still hear me? Any static?” Static, again? What was that about, anyway?

“Yup.”

“—wait, wait, how have none of you grabbed the gauntlet yet?” she cut in, a surprised tone in her voice.

“Oh, we’re just that great,” Magnus replied. “Super dumb.”

“Speak for yourself,” protested Barry, even as he began walking towards the gauntlet.

“Wait, Barry, stop!” Taako shouted, moving quickly from where he had been standing, near-motionless. Barry startled, his ears filling with static where Taako had produced real words.

“...Hey, um, guys? A little help?” Barry warranted, taking a step back from Taako, who, shit, must’ve looked confrontational instead of panicked.

Taako took the opportunity to place himself between Barry and the gauntlet. His brother was not going to waste the lives of more people— their people— whatever was wrong with him right now. He took a few backward steps and stopped at the scorched body. Leaning down, eyes locked with Barry’s, he picked up the gauntlet.

_Long time no see, Koko. You wanna blow up some shit, for old times’ sake?_

_Don’t call me that, Glovey. Stuff it._

“Oh, shit!” Killian exclaimed. “That’s a fucking poltergeist! Did you know it was here?!” So she could see him now. Okay, then.

He threw the gauntlet to her feet. She looked from it to him, reached for the gauntlet, stopped, and just booked it. She was thirty yards away in a few seconds, and stopped. “Guys, I was gonna grab it!” she shouted. “Keep it the hell away from me!”

Taako pinched the bridge of his nose, something that, as a dead person, he didn’t really need to do. “Useless,” he muttered. “Nobody here is competent.” He picked it up again.

“Alright, I’m- I’m gonna call for transport,” called Killian. “You guys seem to be resisting the gauntlet’s thrall pretty well, so you’re coming with me. My boss will want to meet you.”

“Static,” said Magnus and Merle in unison.

“Yeah, we can fix that, too. Hey, you, the gray one! Can you give that to, like, Merle or something?”

“Absolutely fucking not, I’m holding it,” Taako replied indignantly.

Killian’s brow furrowed. “...static? That shouldn’t be possible. What the shit, dude?” Static again. It was fucking annoying, because he couldn’t talk to anyone, but there wasn’t really anything he could do about that at the moment.

He mimicked a sigh with his spectral form. “Whatever, I don’t have time for this, just take us wherever, I guess,” he grumbled.

* * *

 

Lucretia was here, impossibly, and she had aged, somehow; she had aged more than Magnus or Barry had seemed to. Her face was a roadmap of creases and wrinkles, and she gazed at Taako with something like fear or apprehension, eyes wide, before she composed herself and gazed at his living company.

“Welcome, the three of you, to the Bureau of Balance.”

He observed as she gave a practiced spiel to them, stealing glances at Taako but not saying anything to him.

He looked on while she told them to address her by a name that didn’t feel right for the shy chronicler who made herself invisible and wrote everything down.

He watched as Cap’n’port hurried around, repeating his own name and following orders without question, and watched as Lucretia called him her ward.

But much as she tried to ignore him, when they went to leave she mouthed _I’m sorry_ in his direction and shut the door with a vermilion mage hand.

* * *

 

His dear, sweet baby sister had her own throne room on her own secret moon base, and when she spoke it was with extraordinary gravitas learned from the best (It was him and Lup, natch), and he was so _proud_ and _so damn angry_.

Because Fisher had been in that room before they had gone to see her, and the boys were talking about static again now, and he knew _exactly_ what she had done.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm back! Thanks to everyone who left kudos or commented last chapter, as well as my good good friend who beta'd. I really appreciate the warm response from you guys. I hope you enjoy!

Their aunt’s life ended in fire. Lup’s twelfth birthday passed in smoke, and the year following it was made of ash, still and lonely.

They had woken up early, bright and blazing with excitement, their minds buzzing and their hands clasped. Their auntie begrudgingly awoke, cooked Taako’s favorite breakfast, cracked jokes as they banged their fists on the sturdy wooden table shouting “Food! Food! Food!”

Lunch passed fervently in a rush of activity, sandwiches and crosstalk and laughter. Dinner rolled around quickly. Three cupcakes sat on the table, candles lit and blown out one by one. Taako took first bite; it was his birthday, after all. Lup and Auntie bit into their own in unison with humms of approval.

Everyone went to sleep with full bellies and satisfied taste buds.

When Lup awoke, it was too bright. Her arms stung badly where she had been licked by the flames that were now climbing the sides of her thin mattress. She screamed, leapt up, shook her brother awake and urged him from their bed. As they ran outside, the soles of their feet blistered on the hot floorboards and the walls scorched themselves to black.

Light from the rising suns filtered through the diffusing smoke. It was now Lup’s birthday, but there wouldn’t be any slow-roasted turkey this time.

Lup’s eyes stung in the heavy, pungent air. Taako coughed until his throat was raw. They _hated_  this, this feeling of helplessness, the inability to save their guardian or what had been their home for the past eighteen months. And so they did what they had been taught to do, on the off chance that they found themselves alone.

They started walking.

* * *

 

“Hey, Lucy? ’Creesha? You did a bad thing,” enunciated Taako, sarcastic words dripping with malice. “I can’t fuckin’ talk to anybody, and Lup was vored by her staff, and Dav’s a pokemon! What the fuck!”

Lucretia, standing on the dais, her large, ornate chair ( _not_ a throne, thankyouverymuch) behind her, drew in a deep breath. She took in the scene in front of her:

Magnus, Merle and Barry, all in their sleepwear, stood behind Taako, watching him, waiting for him to lash out or to just do something they could understand. The guards, near the door across the room from her, looked very confused, while Davenport just looked concerned. Taako himself was in the center of the room, form devolved from what she remembered (bright, detailed, impeccable) into a vaguely humanoid shape draped in heavy cloth, colored like the void in his emotion. If he were a lich, he’d be crackling.

There was only one way for Taako to be on the moon base at all, and that was if Lup were nearby; the Umbrastaff in Magnus’ hands alongside Taako’s recent comment was proof enough of what had happened to her.

Oh, she should’ve played dumb. She should’ve pretended to have forgotten, bought herself some more time, acted confused by Taako’s presence.

But she hadn’t. There was no use dwelling on it, really; there was no taking it back, no erasing it from Taako’s unimpaired memory, and she had another problem on her hands.

Lucretia couldn’t allow Taako to continue following Barry, Merle and Magnus around; he might convince one of them to break the Umbrastaff, and as much as she wanted to see Lup again, she _just needed more time._ She _knew_  she could carry out her plan, and then she would release Lup and let everyone remember. She just needed more time.

So she inhaled again, and spoke. “Magnus,” she said, “I need you to give me that.”  
Magnus looked at the long-handled umbrella in his left hand. “What? No!” he protested. “I took it off a skeleton in a cave— s’mine now.”

Her grip tightened on the shaft of the Bulwark Staff.  “Magnus, you’ll be compensated for it, just please, give it to me,” she repeated. “This isn’t a time for goofs.”

Barry placed a hand on Magnus’ shoulder. “She looks serious, Magnus. I-I think you should give it to her.” (The irony of the situation, Barry being on her side, was not lost on her. She willed herself not to break. Not here, not now.)

Magnus reluctantly handed it over. The handle of the staff crackled briefly with sparks, then settled.

“Thank you. Now, Zachary,” she turned to one of the guards near the door, “please take this down into the…”she sighed, “the brig. Post a guard or two.”

The half-elf she had addressed raised a single, impeccable eyebrow, but did as she said. She watched as Taako was forced to follow, cursing. He still had to stay with Lup. Convenient, for Lucretia’s purposes.

Magnus spoke incredulously. “Hey, you got rid of our ghost!”

Merle shrugged. “I mean, no great loss. He was just kind of _there._ ” Barry looked ready to protest, but said nothing.

“Ghost? I don’t have a clue what you could mean by that.” Lucretia clapped her hands together. “Now! I would prefer if you all would get into your business regalia, because Merle, I can see three-quarters to four-fifths of your entire butt. I have another mission for you.”

* * *

 

Lucretia’s shoes _clicked_  on the gray tile floor, the sounds echoing sharply on the brightly-lit walls of the Bureau’s holding facility, which was situated directly underneath the Quad. The hallway felt like a hospital, sterile and too bright. Lucretia hated it.

She moved quickly and purposefully, her long robes swishing audibly around her calves, until she reached the only cell currently in use, towards the end of the hallway.

The Umbrastaff had been propped against the back wall, which she could tell through the warped screen of magic sealing the cell. Taako sat on the lower bunk, one of the few pieces of furniture in the sparsely decorated room. She couldn’t quite tell through the wall of abjuration magic keeping it closed, but she guessed he was glaring at her. The guard outside the cell nodded to her.

“I’m going to need to get in there for a few minutes,” Lucretia said authoritatively.

The guard nodded again and stepped aside, pulling a key card from a pocket in her blue and silver uniform. She handed it to Lucretia. “Here. Do you want me to… leave, ma’am?” she asked awkwardly, glancing into the cell at the Umbrastaff.

“If you could wait at the entrance to the brig and make sure I’m not interrupted, that would be excellent,” she answered coolly, brushing imaginary dust off her clothes. “This may take a few minutes,” she added in a way that she knew was ominous.

The guard nodded nervously and speedwalked  down the hallway to the elevator, stepping inside and moving up to where she was again, presumably, doing her job.

Lucretia pressed the key card to the automagic scanner next to the pearlescent, filmy doorway. The force field winked out.

“Why are you doing this?” Taako asked quietly, looking her right in her eyes from where he sat. She shivered.

“My plan will work. It-it has to work, I’ve been doing this for so long, it needs to work,” she blurted, looking at him with a sort of suppressed mania. “I’m going to cast my barrier and we’ll ride out the danger from the Hunger— I just… I’m glad you’re here, Taako.”

“Honestly, do whatever you want. I don’t care anymore,” Taako said softly, his voice cold, his expression unreadable. It broke her heart, but she knew what she had done to him was worse than the pain she felt.

A little heartbreak on her part was only fair.

“Taako,” she replied faintly, “I’ll let her out when it’s all over. You don’t need to forgive me, but know that I love you.” She stood up.

Lucretia, holding her Bulwark Staff out with both hands, cast the best shield of her life around the Umbrastaff. It lifted off the floor and hovered there, as if encased in cut diamond. The opalescent, prismatic cage sparkled in the stark light of the brig.

“I’m sorry, Taako,” she said, running a hand over the silky, glassy surface of the new force field. “I have to go.”

His eyes were on her as she put the sealing spell back up; he stared at her as she left. When she briskly strode down the hall and out of sight, she felt his gaze on her back.

* * *

 

Taako’s fists clenched. Lucretia had just _left him here;_  She was willingly keeping Lup trapped, _hostage_  in her prison of wire and cloth and wood, just to get at Taako. What had _happened_  to Lucretia over the however-long-it-had-been since he and Lup had left the ship? Taako wanted to scream.

He stood and moved to the Umbrastaff, frozen in magic like an insect paralyzed in resin, or something ancient trapped in an iceberg.

He kicked the thing; it did nothing except made it shudder in the air for a few moments.

There was a gasp from down the hall.

The guard from earlier was back, and she was staring directly at him.

“Shit.”


End file.
